I feel we need outer and inner peace. Inner peace helps us be healthy and happy. This empowers us to contribute to achieving outer peace in our community and, ultimately, in our world. As someone with chronic illness, I struggle with inner peace. Anyone with allergic or autoimmune conditions may wonder why cells in our immune system, our own protective army, would turn on us and cause debilitating symptoms. It's like my inner landscapes harbour needless wars.
Having a chronic illness can also make us feel ashamed. Even though I “know better,” I still catch myself wondering if I did something or thought something that causes my symptoms. And since conventional medicine has little to offer me, I have tried almost everything I could find, within my financial limitations, to get better.
This poem reflects on inner peace from my perspective as someone struggling with outer symptoms.
You elude me.
I am told you are my birthright
That you are in the space between breaths
That I can cultivate you in my inner garden
That you are there in my essence
But my symptoms distract me from you
The turmoil in my guts
The turmoil on my skin
I feel constantly irritated
I can't remember a day without
An open wound
Others seem at peace
And write from that place of knowing
I feel undone and unpeaceful
And write from that place of not knowing
Hoping it is from a place of becoming.
I do believe in you, Peace.
Maybe you really are there
In each of my cells
In the curves of my DNA helices
In the music of my soul
In my sleeping baby's smile
Maybe you are with me always
And I must learn to access
What is already always there
Maybe I am Peace
And just don't know it
In this place of becoming.
By: Dr. Julie Comber, Writer, Songwriter, Researcher (http://juliecomber.com).